Love-a-Lot Bear You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.
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Ah these past few weeks have really been flying by. Hopefully it will continue that way.

Today is just one of those days where I'd rather be playing on the computer or watching tv instead of doing my actual homework. Huh and I thought once you got to college it would be the end of homework. Where in the world did I get that idea from anyways?

Saturday's Daddy's 52nd birthday. LOL someone help me to remember to buy him something this year!

This whole war stuff has me so confused. I don't trust Bushy, but yet I sure as heck don't believe that Sadam is an innocent party either. Ah why does life have to be so complicated? On one hand I understand the whole stance of the Germans and the French, being anti war, but then again, how can our country not help but feel totally betrayed by our so called Allies? It's so confusing. Hopefully for all the men and women out there in the armed forces there will be a quick end to all of this.

What a change from a couple of weeks ago! It's actually 60 degrees outside! And heck it may not last for any longer than a week, but it's still awesome! The first time this year I was able to open up my bedroom window. I have homework to do, although last week I was a good girl and actually did my work. I still have some catching up on, but it's so hard to want to sit down and do any work on a day like today. How often in the middle of March do you get to open up your windows and enjoy the warm air coming in? Hopefully it won't get freakishly cold in April. This all after months of bitterly cold, below normal temperatures! :)

Spring Break has come and gone! Ahh! I mean geez do we really have to have spring break in February?

Today the University actually canceled classes on account of the snow! Yes! A day to make up work, only I never seem to have enough time. I think I'll get off work early to get some work done here.

I'm mad over my computer project right now. Not only is it already late, but when finishing it up I did something wrong and as a result lost work that I've done a month ago. ERRRRRRRR!!!!!

Went to see Tiff's new apartment on Monday. It was nice and I could tell Tiffany was really excited over it, but it seemed like it took us forever to get there.

Got choir rehersal Friday, Saturday, and a performance on Sunday? Who schedules required performances on Sunday for goodness sakes? I mean it's not like we're a church choir! So my entire weekend is taken up. That sucks.

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. I'm not bothered that I don't have a valentine, cause lets face it, the last time I had a valentine was probably like back in the fifth grade! Ah well, Daddy never forgets to buy me candy, so who cares that I don't have a boyfriend? I think they're completely overrrated anyhow.

I got an A on my genetics exam, yeah! I'm so incredibly proud of that.

I've been bored lately so I've been downloading music. Kazaa is awesome!

I got hired to work at Blue Lake again next summer. Hmm funny how after the summer was over last year, I was thinking how I would love to work there again. Then, by the time November hit, I was thinking, no way! But by the time February rolled around, I was like, oh what the heck? Why not.

Well summer is a long way off but somehow it seems like it will be here before I know it.

One more week of school left until Spring Break, Thank God!

So I'm offically 21. Not much to report. Hehe. Bought alcohol for the first time legally yesterday, although even though it was my party, I hardly drank any of it.
We were going to go to the club Celebrations, but when we got there, it was snowing, cold, and a mile long line. Well, we stood in the line, got all the way to the doors, when they said they were closing this line. Well that sucked!
So we ended up just buying everything and hanging out, but since I was the only one who was 21 I bought it, but my friends all scattered so they wouldn't be carded! So I looked like a freaking alcoholic buying all this alcohol and I was all by myself.
Tiffany and I started arguing about Rich, so the whole drive home was ackward. It bothers me that she stands up for him over me, her own sister. I just wish she'd open her eyes.
I woke up this morning with a headache from not getting enough sleep, and just plain not really feeling good. I think I may be getting a bit of a cold. That's all I need with exams coming up! It's the end of January but I'm already wishing February away so I can have spring break!
And life goes on. At least I'm finally feeling okay with things for the moment.

Are you NASTY or NICE?

Quiz made by Angela


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[Me.]


School is back in session! Christmas break is only a memory. I've been trying to keep up with my studying, and I have so far. Hopefully it will last longer than a couple of weeks.
I'm pretty bored right now. I can't wait for my birthday, although I'm not really sure what it is I want to do. Not a lot of people have gotten back with me about my party plans, but it's just as well anyhow. I'd rather keep it small and intimate, than having a bunch of people there that I really don't care too much for anyhow.
I finally was able to catch up on my sleep last night! Ah. I get too stressed out I guess, and next thing I know it's hard for me to sleep.
I did get to do some after Christmas shopping. :) I was excited. I got a great wool sweater, a cute pair of pants, and a matching ear muff and gloves set for my peacoat. It's always nice to relieve your stresses with a little shopping, especially when you actually have money to spend!

So Christmas is over already, it went by so fast! I enjoyed myself, but for some odd reason it just didn't feel like Christmas. Somehow I think it was like that for a lot of people around me. I'm enjoying my break from school, finally to be able to sleep and rest and not worry over an exam or work or time is wonderful.

I'm not sure how I'll spend New Year's Eve, I really just want to relax at home. I did the party thing last year, and had fun and all, but somehow actually missed being in my pajamas, counting down the new year with Dick Clark and the gang. Ah but who knows.

It will be mom's 41st birthday, and then in three weeks my 21st birthday. Not to be a drag, but I think I'll avoid the whole get completely wasted for your 21st birthday routine. Sounded like fun a few months ago, but now I'm just thinking that it would be completely pointless.

This year, I'm staying away from the cheesy resolutions that can't be kept. I'm making one promise to myself, and that is to destress my life. I'm thinking yoga, and other exercises are the way to do that, along with just studying more so I feel better prepared, and getting more sleep. So hopefully this is one promise I can actually keep for myself.

Tiffany called earlier and told us that while at work she got second degree burns all up her arm and on her hand! Ouch! I think with her complexion, she'll have scarring, but I didn't say anything to her. Hopefully that won't happen. She had stars imbedded on her watch band, which left star shaped burns all around her wrists! She had to go to the hospitial and get a bunch of shots and cream to put on her burns. Hopefully, she'll be fine.

So it's midnight, and I have an exam in exactly 12 hours, and have I began studying? NOOOOO. I was a little upset when I found out that while you only had to have a 65% to get a C, an 80% was still required for a B. What kind of smack curve is that? So between this exam and the final I could only miss a total of 5 points to get my B. Now even the highest score on one of Doc's exams only turns out to be around 95%. Which means anyway I go I'm screwed over. In a way that's not such a bad thing, because if I thought I had a chance at a B, I'd be od-ing on caffeine about now, freaking out. But since I could fail this exam and the next one and still end up with a C, who cares?

I worked on my computer project (designing a web page) this entire week, but when I went to turn it in today, I decided it was all crap, so I took an hour to completely re-do the entire thing. And I must say, it was totally worth it. It's so much better now.

Tiffany and Fat Bastard came to visit a couple of days ago. She came upstairs (I'm sure with the true intent on bugging me) and of course she tried to lead me blindly into an argument. That girl I swear.

Okay, am I the only one who thinks if Clay wins Survivor that's such a scamming rip off?

Speaking of scams, my job is getting on my last nerve. I was hired to do work in the office, not be everyone's damn goffer. I was trying to do my real job (showing a proffesor how to work excel, and figuring out his classes' final grades, but of course every five minutes I got interupted by some moron expecting me to do dumb things like, "walk across downtown and deliver this package for me!" Yeah, let's see, go through downtown at dusk, risking my life for a package, or, stay here warm and safe. Which do you think I picked?

So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh?

So thanksgiving is over. There went my beautiful whole two days off of school! But I've only got another week of classes, I must remind myself of this.
The weekend after Thanksgiving we actually got a decent amount of snow, and now it's been so cold here that if the high for the day was the freezing point, I'd think it was June!
I've got so much work to do this last week of school it's insane. I've got a 5 page paper due on comparing the writing styles of Alice Walker vs Tim O'Brien (there's a huge difference for you), I've got to write a short piece of fiction, I've got to design a webpage, I've got physics problems to work out, and I have my Cell Bio exam on Friday, the 13th to be exact.
It's all pure craziness.
I watched Reluctant Angel on the CBC today. I'm still a huge fan of Megan Follows. Surprisingly, I really like a lot of the Canadian Films I've seen. They can get away with so much more and do it in a much more thoughtful manner than a lot of the American blockbusters.
I bet it would be really fun to become a filmmaker. I've always wanted to wrap my mind around all of the process, from giving the actors direction to finding a unique camera angle to film with. Hmm.
Anyhoo, just sitting around downloading Christmas tunes. LOL Just goes to show how bored I can get around here. But what am I supposed to do with inches of snow on the ground and freezing temperatures?

White Thanksgiving?

It's snowing, snowing, snowing. Probably will mostly melt away by morning, but it's supposed to keep snowing this week. Just made me think of a white Thanksgiving. Me and dad were out driving when it started snowing, and he said this is more like an old fashioned winter, the kind they had when he was a kid.
My stress level is finally down. Exams and homework ack. No more exams until finals, that is except for an English exam, but those don't stress me out because I love to read so I always know the novel like the back of my hand by the time it comes to taking the exam. No stress there.
I'm finally starting to get in the mood for the holidays, I was so stressed out, Thanksgiving and Christmas were the last things I wanted to deal with. But I'm feeling more like myself now.
Since it looks so cold outside, I decided to bake chocolate chip cookies :) Reminds me of all the awesome stuff I'll get to eat at Thanksgiving.
Even as good as the food is on Thanksgiving, the day after is even better. It's so awesome to sit and eat a plate full of leftovers, putting up the tree (artifical but no one can tell it's fake), digging through the box of ornaments, and listening to Christmas music. I can hardly wait!

Old habits die hard. Something to remember in life.

I decided to give my homepage http://www.geocities.com/tbrick_2000/index a new kick, so I've updated it slightly. I've deleted some stuff and put up a new background, and I plan to add little quotes and guilty pleasures, and person of the week, etc. Should be fun, now only if I can get someone to take a peek at it.

I had intentions to do homework and get lots of things done this weekend, but so far all I've done was throw my dirty sneakers in the wash, and read a book for English. Hence the old habits die hard part.

I keep telling myself only three weeks of classes left, before finals, hoping to inspire a final stretch type of energy, but as of yet, no luck. Well, if I want to pass Cell this time around, I'd better get some of this energy going, and fast. I can't wait to get out of school! Geez.

Today has left me exhausted! Bernadine threw a party for lil J's birthday, and Bernadette and I rode together down to party, which was a half hour drive away. It was at a chuckie cheese type place, so there wasn't much for us to do. Bernadette and I used the occasion to go shopping (of course). Which I must add I got a killer pair of jeans on sale for $15.
The drive there was interesting. Bernadette and I talked through all of our sisters' boy troubles, and I must say I was for once able to get a laugh out of everything. Nice how best friends can just pick up right where they left off. And it's really nice to have someone who has the same style in clothes as I do. I know I sound materialistic right now, but hey, sometimes shopping is what a girl needs to forget her problems.
The drive back was insane! It was thunderstorming the whole way back home, and at one point it was raining so hard, Bernadette was gripping the steering wheel, muttering "Geez-us!" LOL her way of not exclaiming "Jesus."
Last night I watched Anne of Green Gables, and cried my eyes out, like I haven't watched the movie a million and one times already! After Friday's exam, I certainly needed something to get sappy over.
Now I'm thinking hot cocoa and my warm bed would be perfect :) Sounds like a plan.

Completely bombed my Physics Exam today. That's my bad news.

Yesterday I was in such a perfect mood. It was thirty something degrees, and raining, and a Halloween on which I had to work all day long, but I was in a good mood. I just kept thinking what a beautiful day it was. I like those days, I just feel like they should come more often, then the totally stressed out got to go to work and finish my homework and study for my exam and do a million other things type of days.

I'm listening to 90's pop right now, wondering when my favorite Mariah tunes are going to come on. I know, I'm crazy. I know this by now!

Tomorrow, to make my life even more like that Cathy cartoon, I'm planning on laying around in my pajamas, and watching movies and eating junk food. Sounds like a good plan to me!

Now, time for sleep. :) I actually get to sleep in tomorrow! Jeah.

Just a few beefs. Yesterday I took a quiz in physics, and I think I would have done well, would being the important word there. We were allowed to have notecards with formulas on them, but right before the quiz I misplaced my notecard, and had to take the quiz without it! ERR.

Other than that everything is peachy. Watched Trading Spaces, got a good nap, went cruising in my car, and had a nice and quiet Saturday.

Need to get some thoughts out of my head.
Number one thought: Would it kill the University to give us like one day off a month? I mean one rest and relaxation day a month would give me something to look forward to.
Number two thought: Am I the only one annoyed by the girl in my English class who talks nonstop? I mean, I know I can drag out stories, but this chick, geez! She talks non-stop, and of course it's always the people like her who have absolutely nothing of any merit to say. And of course it just so happens that the person who likes to talk the most has the most annoying voice. Err.
Number three thought: If you get an A on an exam, the professor seems to suddenly remember your name, and thinks every comment you make in class is valuable. Yeah, wait til he figures out that A I got was some freak accident because of some weird star alignment.
Number four thought: Was I the only one who lost that "Blue Lake was great" mentality for the "Blue Lake really screwed me up" mentality? And just as I was getting over this, I get a letter in the mail asking me to work there next summer?
Number five thought: Why is it every time I go to the doctor with an ailment, by the time I actually see the doctor my ailment is gone and he looks at me like I'm some hypochondriac? And why is it my mother can always come up with five million things that are wrong with her at random for the doctor to check her for, when it's my doctor's appointment?

That's the end of my thoughts for the night.

Okay going to blog quick before I go to bed, I just had to get some thoughts out of my head. Today was Kareokee day at school (In the U Cen), so for hours (it was supposed to last from 11 to 1 but just kept going and going like that stupid energizer bunny) I would hear tone deaf people belt out random tunes that weren't even good songs when they came out, much less now, ten years later. Ahh, If I'd had a gun I can't say I wouldn't have been even slightly tempted! I was trying to read a chapter in my physics book, but as a result of the noise I only read a few sections. Err. Like I don't already have enough crap to do already.
Which leads me to my next thought, Cell Biology. If I have to think up one more difference between mitochondria and chloroplasts, or draw and name one more alpha D N-Acetyl 2 Amino Glucopyranose, I will be likely to end up in an institution for the mentally insane.
Oh yes here's one more pet peeve for the day. I'll be sitting at the computer, trying to do homework, or for that matter, checking my email. But the real point to this is that I have my headphones on, listening to my latest mix cd at full volume, when my mom insists on having a discussion with me. Now, I'm getting annoyed because she doesn't seem to notice me having to turn the volume down every other second and saying "huh?" And also annoyed because of all the studying I do all the time, and work, and classes, that sometimes I just want to forget the rest of the world and listen to my music, but instead I have to hear some pointless conversation about the way people were driving today. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Dreary has been the best way to discribe both the day, and my mood. I'm not exactly in a good place today. My anxieties are really my worst enemies, and they've come at me full force today. I just am feeling a bit of those old insecurites as of late, and now I'm questioning myself constantly. It's really no wonder with everything that has been going on around here. I mean, geez. My sister sure did have to go mess things up didn't she? She's not even living here anymore but yet she continues to turn life for everyone in this house upside down.
I'm looking forward to the upcoming season actually. About this time of year mom tends to get into her bleak, depressive state of mind about her family and the upcoming holidays. If anyone in the family does something slight to offend or annoy her (and heck some of it on her part is just an assumed action on their part to annoy her, I'm sure half the time no one even realizes they've done anything to piss her off) she goes off on her whole "I hate my family, we're not spending any of the holidays with them, we're all going to spend the holidays here!" Yeah that translates into, "I'm mad because of my disfunctional childhood, and I want to pout, so I say all of this angrily now, but when the holidays come I'll be kissing everyone's behind as usual." I know that's harsh to say, but god knows it's the truth. And plus that, after hearing it for the last 15 years (seeing as I can't remember much before I was five) you have to see the dry humor in it.
So the holidays will go on as usual. My aunts will get drunk and turn into the fire breathing dragons they usually are (okay to be fair, I'm thinking of one aunt really, not both of my aunts), my grandparents will be completely oblivious to this, and luckily for my sake make the holidays as sugar sweet as they do every year for us kids. My mom will probably do some of the aforementioned butt kissing, then start drinking with the rest of her siblings, making my dad drive home, as she declares it's a Wonderful Christmas. We'll get home, she'll start the usual christmas fire, with her homemade hot cocoa, and some music and a Christmas movie playing. Then, depending on how much she drank, she'll either wake up so nice it's scary, or she'll become like the aforementioned fire breathing dragon that is my aunt. Hmm scary, but I actually love Christmas time. What kind of a freak am I? Instead of being like my mom who is angry at the world, or like my grandparents who are oblivious, I see it all, but accept it for what it is, and have a good time in spite of it all.
So the real question is why the heck am I thinking about all of this now? I suppose I really will do anything to put off studying for physics.

Blogging today, why? I'm just bored. I've given up keeping a paper journal, so thankfully i have this. Nothing much is going on here, that's for sure. Mom's up to another project again. She's adding textured plaster to one of her bedroom walls and planning to paint it a new color. I wonder what she'll do when she's redone every room in the entire house? She'll probably give up and decide it's time to buy a new house, that way she can start all over again.
I got hit on tuesday at school, by a freshman no doubt. Funny how i could never get a guy to pay any mind to me in high school but now i get hit on on a daily basis. And i don't know, am i too picky? Or am i right when i think that every guy i meet is a jerk who is only interested in one thing from me, and therefore not worth my time or energy. LOL Wasn't it Andrea who said being a lesbian isn't a bad idea except for the fact that you would have to be attracted to other girls, and since that isn't happening, it would be awful? I swear it's scary when i begin to not only understand Andrea, but agree with her.
I think all the weight I've lost this summer has been gained right back. But this isn't my fault. Not entirely. I mean, what am I supposed to do, say no, to my mother, when she takes me to Red Lobster for lunch twice in one week? And I mean really, how else am I going to get myself to study if I don't reward myself with an Ice Cream Sandwhich, or a bag of M&M's? Funny how when I was eating tasteless, disgusting food all summer, the only thing I wanted was healthy stuff like fresh fruit and grilled chicken. But now that I'm home and can have that stuff instead I'm eating Taco Bell and McDonalds nonstop.
I get to start work on Tuesday, finally my finacial aid at school is all straightened out. And I really love work too, it's very satisfying to have your own paycheck that you know you've worked hard for. Which reminds me about working hard, I need to go hit the books. I have done my assigned reading for English, but as far as physics and biology goes, no such luck. And a good tool of motivation for staying on top of my reading is that I'm completely understanding everything my profs in both my science classes are lecturing about, so if I stay on top of my reading like a good girl :) I should do fine. Yeah, MCATS, and med school, here I come. :p

School's started, and my whole life yet again is changing right in front of me. Tiffany had one of her little temper tantrums and announced to mom that at that very moment, she was going to move out. I'm sorry, Tiffany just drove me crazy at that very moment. She is just so impulsive and thoughtless sometimes. I haven't heard from her since Wednesday, this is the longest I've ever went without hearing from my own sister.
But this entire year, or even two years has been nothing but change for me. Change is a bustard, to be nice and censored there. Growing up is a good thing in some respects, but majorly sucks in every other way, it seems sometimes. Reminds me of that Alanis Morrisette song, Flinch. "Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at you're name."
As far as school goes, so far so good. My classes still put terror and dread into my mind, but as of now I am staying onto of my studying and homework, but that's not saying much yet as I've only had one day of school. But then again, I'm further ahead than I was this time last year.
I've been pretty moody the past few weeks, it's really given me this cynical outlook on life. I'm trying to get over that, cause quite frankly, it's frustrating to be negative and sulky. It takes alot of energy out of me as well.
I talked to Amy finally for the first time this summer the day before yesterday. She always puts a smile on my face, talking to her is almost theraputic. She knew all my "Tiffany" problems, so when I told her about the latest nonsense, she wasn't very surprised. That's a good tip for life in general, getting someone else's two cents is usually more helpful than anything.
Now we're approaching the anniversary of September 11th. I try to remember what life for all of us was like before this, but it's hard to remember anymore. I just remember having the childish mentality that America is number 1. The strongest, the best. Nothing bad will ever happen to us. Well, I seemed to forget one key thing there. When you're on top, you've got everyone underneath you trying to knock you down.
I used to side with some of my Canadian friends, that the U.S. was too brash in our belief of being the best. But surprisingly, I've found that my opinion on that has changed. If you don't believe that you are the best, that you can accomplish anything, isn't that a sad thing? I'm damn proud to be an American, and this past year has only brought this opinion on more than ever. The best thing that I've learned, is that, love is what makes this world go round. Holding onto my faith in these hard times has been so extremely tough, but I've done it. And if I can do that, I think I can do almost anything.