Wednesday, November 05, 2003

They're odd things really. But it seems like they just sneak up on you sometime, but good luck getting yourself out of one!
It's kind of like, you're taking a leisurely walk through the woods, when bam! Out of nowhere, you've fallen into a 10 foot hole some stupid little boys dug to see if they could catch a squirrel.

It all started out innocently enough I guess. Somewhere along the line I went from being tired of school to being completely overwhelmed. So I thought I solved that by dropping a class to make my schedule easier. Well, I solved it I guess, but this doesn't exactly solve the ongoing problem I seem to have of simply not caring how I do in school anymore. Sigh.

And then Tiffany has a genius for roping me into all her problems. Ah I want to be there for my sister, but god knows that I seem to have a problem magnet stuck to my forehead right now.

Boys boys boys. I just need to stay away from all of them. Really! Thats all I need to say about that.

And friends, and their problems. I get drawn into their problems too.

Finally mother. More times than not I am sure she should be on some sort of anti-depressant. But instead I take the grunt for all of her problems, and I'm sick of it. Yesterday we got into a massive yelling match when all I was trying to do was be helpful. I am so tired of this. I am just incredibly ready to get my degree, get a real job, and get a place of my own. I just don't know how much longer I can mentally deal with all the stress she throws my way.

So my only hope is that tomorrow is a better day. That this week gets better, and that this slump I've been in will find the nearest exit and let me get on with things.

Friday, September 26, 2003

Hmm. I haven't done this in awhile. So much went on this summer. I came back a new person, again. Too many of the old quirks still remain though. The panic about being in the so-called real world after graduation, the overanalytical side, the timid side of me. Not that I'm not happy with who I am, I'm struggling with this 20 something idea of what life is supposed to be. Hmm is it really too early to be having a quarterlife crisis? I feel like I've been having one for the past two years, only lol I've still got a few years to go before turning 25. The most frustrating part of life right now is knowing you have so much more to give the world, just not being able to find someone who quite gives a damn yet.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

So life is funny, right when you think you have left things in the past, and you can finally move on, your own stupid actions come back to haunt you. I'm tired of certain things. I put this silly little transgresssion of mine in the past, paid for it a million times over, repented, and learned from it. So why is it coming back again and again? If I told someone of the story, they'd probably laugh over how childish it is, and I thought that I myself would laugh over it in time. But now it just seems all serious again, and I just feel like someone or something I'm not. Why is life so confusing? Maybe I still have something more to learn from it. I always say God won't give you any more than you can handle in one day, but sometimes I have to wonder about that.

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Which Season are you?

Why Do I keep taking those stupid internet quizzes? LOL I guess they're just plain fun.

The best news ever, I've got tickets to the John Mayer Concert! AHHHH!!!!!

Yeah I finally got around to that spring cleaning I've been putting off for two months. Now the fun part is seeing how long I can go before the entire thing is undone.

I finally taped my stupid audition tape. LOL I was just so tired of dealing with the entire thing. I wasn't sure how it would come out, but seeing as I only practiced it about twice, I think it came out darned good.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

It was so cold today! Ah!

It's that time of year again when I start having weird dreams. Yesterday I dreamed that Tiffany got married, but i wasn't invited! And I remember yelling and being pissed cause I missed my own sister's wedding, but no one seemed to see what I was so mad about.

Tomorrow I'm meeting this girl who is going to work at Blue Lake at school. Funny how I think meeting new people is a good idea, until I actually have to get around to doing it. Then that shyness demon decides to take over for me. Ah!

Also tomorrow I'm recording a solo, funny how I haven't practiced it a bit. I did some vocal warm-ups today, but that was about it. Hehe, we'll see how it sounds tomorrow, won't we?

Friday, April 25, 2003

First thought for the day: Finals are a bi-otch. Okay glad to get that out!

Second thought for the day: Someone take my check book and credit card away from me. If I get another idea of buying anything else, someone just shoot me. If I buy one more pair of sandals, one more necklace, one more little t-shirt, someone just shoot me.

Third thought for the day. Just because I plan to join an exercise class come the beginning of May, does not mean it's wise to have fast food 4 days out of the week. I had mexican, Taco Bell (not real mexican), Mcdonalds, and Subway, and Schlotzky's all in one week. If I drop dead at the age of 30, I couldn't really blame God for taking me out.

Final thought: People who go the wrong way on a one-way lane in an already tightly parked U of M parking ramp, and expect YOU the person who is going the right way, to either back up or go around them, SHOULD BE SHOT! Hmmph.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Yeah so today, knock on wood, has been a pretty nice day.

I heard from some blue lake peeps today, which i wasn't expecting so it was kind of a nice surprise.

It was past 85 degrees today! Can we say incredible? I got to wear my new terrycloth shorts and flip flops today. I thought i was funny to walk around work, making flopping noises everywhere I went. My boss may not have thought it was so funny, but screw him anyways hehe. I could care less.

I may actually get an A from Genetics. I can't believe it! An A in an upper lever bio course. I can't stop smiling thinking about my gpa. And I ran for treasurer of the bio sci club. Hopefully that will be mine because that would be great to put on the old resume.

O Primavera! was yesterday. It went smoothly enough, but the whole thing felt odd. No long drawn out speeches, no announcer, no nothing. Just dead air as different vocalists made their way to the stage. The whole thing felt odd. Or may I should say lazy and unprepared. Ah well. Not exactly how I wanted to end what could possibly have been my last performance with the University Chorale, but what's a person to do about it? The worst part was while we were performing "John Saw Da Numbah" and Dr. A took us completely from the beginning to the end. Poor Mr. P was flipping through his music hopelessly trying to keep up with us on the piano.

But this is the last week of school, so what am I upset about? Easter is Sunday, and I have to wonder if we'll be spending it at Grandma's. We've basically spent the entire weekend with them, because of Papa's birthday. We went up to Frankenmuth on Saturday, to eat at Zender's, and I have to say Aunt Kathy was in a strange mood. But this is my family so what else is new?

Anyhow, as soon as the stresses of school are over, I plan to finally have that me time I have been waiting for. Which means updating my website! Going to Pilates! Starting Pride and Prejudice! Etc! Hehe.

Saturday, April 05, 2003


You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at!

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Love-a-Lot Bear
You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Ah these past few weeks have really been flying by. Hopefully it will continue that way.

Today is just one of those days where I'd rather be playing on the computer or watching tv instead of doing my actual homework. Huh and I thought once you got to college it would be the end of homework. Where in the world did I get that idea from anyways?

Saturday's Daddy's 52nd birthday. LOL someone help me to remember to buy him something this year!

This whole war stuff has me so confused. I don't trust Bushy, but yet I sure as heck don't believe that Sadam is an innocent party either. Ah why does life have to be so complicated? On one hand I understand the whole stance of the Germans and the French, being anti war, but then again, how can our country not help but feel totally betrayed by our so called Allies? It's so confusing. Hopefully for all the men and women out there in the armed forces there will be a quick end to all of this.

Saturday, March 15, 2003

What a change from a couple of weeks ago! It's actually 60 degrees outside! And heck it may not last for any longer than a week, but it's still awesome! The first time this year I was able to open up my bedroom window. I have homework to do, although last week I was a good girl and actually did my work. I still have some catching up on, but it's so hard to want to sit down and do any work on a day like today. How often in the middle of March do you get to open up your windows and enjoy the warm air coming in? Hopefully it won't get freakishly cold in April. This all after months of bitterly cold, below normal temperatures! :)

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Spring Break has come and gone! Ahh! I mean geez do we really have to have spring break in February?

Today the University actually canceled classes on account of the snow! Yes! A day to make up work, only I never seem to have enough time. I think I'll get off work early to get some work done here.

I'm mad over my computer project right now. Not only is it already late, but when finishing it up I did something wrong and as a result lost work that I've done a month ago. ERRRRRRRR!!!!!

Went to see Tiff's new apartment on Monday. It was nice and I could tell Tiffany was really excited over it, but it seemed like it took us forever to get there.

Got choir rehersal Friday, Saturday, and a performance on Sunday? Who schedules required performances on Sunday for goodness sakes? I mean it's not like we're a church choir! So my entire weekend is taken up. That sucks.

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. I'm not bothered that I don't have a valentine, cause lets face it, the last time I had a valentine was probably like back in the fifth grade! Ah well, Daddy never forgets to buy me candy, so who cares that I don't have a boyfriend? I think they're completely overrrated anyhow.

I got an A on my genetics exam, yeah! I'm so incredibly proud of that.

I've been bored lately so I've been downloading music. Kazaa is awesome!

I got hired to work at Blue Lake again next summer. Hmm funny how after the summer was over last year, I was thinking how I would love to work there again. Then, by the time November hit, I was thinking, no way! But by the time February rolled around, I was like, oh what the heck? Why not.

Well summer is a long way off but somehow it seems like it will be here before I know it.

One more week of school left until Spring Break, Thank God!

Sunday, January 26, 2003

So I'm offically 21. Not much to report. Hehe. Bought alcohol for the first time legally yesterday, although even though it was my party, I hardly drank any of it.
We were going to go to the club Celebrations, but when we got there, it was snowing, cold, and a mile long line. Well, we stood in the line, got all the way to the doors, when they said they were closing this line. Well that sucked!
So we ended up just buying everything and hanging out, but since I was the only one who was 21 I bought it, but my friends all scattered so they wouldn't be carded! So I looked like a freaking alcoholic buying all this alcohol and I was all by myself.
Tiffany and I started arguing about Rich, so the whole drive home was ackward. It bothers me that she stands up for him over me, her own sister. I just wish she'd open her eyes.
I woke up this morning with a headache from not getting enough sleep, and just plain not really feeling good. I think I may be getting a bit of a cold. That's all I need with exams coming up! It's the end of January but I'm already wishing February away so I can have spring break!
And life goes on. At least I'm finally feeling okay with things for the moment.

Saturday, January 11, 2003

Are you NASTY or NICE?

Quiz made by Angela

Who's your celebrity match? Find out @ Mind-Blowing!!!

Take the What Type of Friend are
quiz, and visit

School is back in session! Christmas break is only a memory. I've been trying to keep up with my studying, and I have so far. Hopefully it will last longer than a couple of weeks.
I'm pretty bored right now. I can't wait for my birthday, although I'm not really sure what it is I want to do. Not a lot of people have gotten back with me about my party plans, but it's just as well anyhow. I'd rather keep it small and intimate, than having a bunch of people there that I really don't care too much for anyhow.
I finally was able to catch up on my sleep last night! Ah. I get too stressed out I guess, and next thing I know it's hard for me to sleep.
I did get to do some after Christmas shopping. :) I was excited. I got a great wool sweater, a cute pair of pants, and a matching ear muff and gloves set for my peacoat. It's always nice to relieve your stresses with a little shopping, especially when you actually have money to spend!