Friday, August 30, 2002

Another time to blog. I wrote out this whole long post last night, but wouldn't you know somewhere it got lost and wouldn't post. Ah well it's just as well anyhow, it was just my late night ramblings about anything I could think up.
Today was pretty uneventful, or at least up to now it has been. Last night I was dreaming about school. Which was fine with me because, it is an end to the endless Blue Lake dreams I was having. I was wondering if I'd soon go insane from spending my summer there! But anyhow, I was dreaming about what else, Cell Bio. Oh and yes, I proved to myself last night that I really can write out the Kreb's Cycle reactions in my sleep! I decided in my sleep (my best ideas always come to me at 3 am) that I should get a larger dry erase board for practicing my structures. LOL I really am insane!
I also had another dream, I dreamed that it was my prom day, only the next day after my prom was my wedding day! It was as though I had forgotten all about it until that very day, and me and Tiffany and Mom were all running around like "chickens with our heads cut off" trying desperately to get everything in order. We were trying to get me into my dress, get my wedding dress ready for the next day, and buy decorations for the wedding the following day. As irony would have it, never once did I ever think anything about my prom date or the future groom. So I'm trying to figure out what the dream meant. Was it just that I've been watching too much of a Wedding Story? Or is this some emotional link to feeling like I'm going right out of my teen years into an adult life. Who knows, but all this craziness in my mind is going to give me an ulcer.
Other than that, yes school starts exactly in one week. I'm just trying to get myself into the right mindset, cause lord knows I never found myself to the right mindset about school last year. The problem is I never really understand what's important to me until I'm forced to look at everything before something crashes and burns. I was almost feeling that way last year, so as a result I'm feeling about as nervous as I did my freshie year. But hopefully I can look back a month from now and smile, because I'll be on the right track! EEEERRR! Life isn't as stressful as it is nervewracking!

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Huh well what do you know. I decided why not get a blog? Alot of my friends have them, might as well have one of my own. Where to start? Well this could be like an elementary show and tell. Hmm. Well, I spent my summer working at Blue Lake. Talk about a life changing event, hehe. I figured, okay I have this covered, working at Blue Lake for the summer as a counselor will be a piece of cake. I was a camper there, and this will be kind of like that, only combined like with dorm life. Okay so some of this was true. The food was just like it was when I was a camper (oh joy, the memories of Merek food!), and it kind of was like college dorm life in a way, but instead of getting one roommate, I got more like eight roommates, plus six teenage girls to care for 24 hours a day for two weeks, until after two weeks I did it all over again. Plus, drama, drama, drama. Let me just say there were more people coming out of closets then there were closets, or so it seemed. Which is fine with me, I mean, I could care less if someone is gay or straight, this just made for some very interesting conversations with people. I soon realized, everyone at Blue Lake was odd in their very own way, which made me start to wonder what was odd about me? LOL I still haven't figured out what makes me odd, although I'm sure some of my friends from the summer would be more than willing to tell me. :)
So anyways that was my summer. Got to go to Lake Michigan often enough, and I came back with a stellar tan, jeah! Even lost some weight there, go figure not eating and biking and walking miles a day would make an athletically challenged person like me lose a bit of weight. :) I made some lifelong pals, and had a blast not having to worry about stupid things like what will my friends think of me if I am totally spontaneous and do whatever I feel like. And I got to spend the summer doing what I love more than anything, singing. Staff Choir was quite the adventure at times, but I was greatful for the chance to keep the vocal chords exercised.
Almost two weeks has past since I've been home. I still can't get enough of the air conditioning, the free food in that lovely device we call a refridgerator, and not having to dial out on a calling card before I call a friend. And next Friday school starts again. Now I have to wonder if I'm quite ready for school, because last year I had some issues with school. I mean most of my grades were pretty good, or great in fact to a normal person. But to struggle in my field of study, makes one a bit nervous at times. And really, when I think about last year, lots of things happened to make me not do as well as I could have. September 11th for one. I never did really tell anyone how that hurt me. I figured I didn't lose anyone in New York, so I can't say anything. But it was just the realization that maybe I can't make the world a better place, that maybe the world is evil, that kind of came crashing down on me at once. School hardly mattered to me, really. So yeah my grades suffered and no matter how much I stressed over it, school wasn't getting any easier. But this year is different, I have a renewed, if different, kind of faith in life. This is my life, and I have the power to shape it. Hopefully I'll remember this for next year. Heck, I might even become good at this blogging thing.